Oh, Maybe Another Time? (Day 3)

Oh a blog post! Barely. Some nights, guys, I’m just not going to have anything to say. But I’ve never been fully speechless so I’ll figure it out.

Today I got to work and my supervisor (a lead not a manager) told me she was cool with me working by myself now. The other lady (in her 60s) who is training with me is having a hard time learning the ropes. Mainly, the computer. And my lead has to focus her attention on her. She says that I’m doing great and most of the things she catches are minor. I know how to work the system, and scan, and upload to our clients, so I’m good. So yeah. I asked her a ton of questions on IM, and she came over a few times, but I don’t have to hand her my work for her to check, which usually takes half a day. So yay.

My family is going through a crisis right now in regards to my mother’s health. She’s not doing well, at all, and she’s almost 78, and she doesn’t want to go through any crazy life saving measures (she has had treatments), so we’re just waiting and seeing. But my step dad asked me today to talk to my sister,, who I desperately try to avoid, because of HER issues, and try to make peace with her to make my mom happy. So I texted her and she texted back and we started talking. But then she started getting mad and saying things to start a fight, so I said, “ok well goodnight!” and was done. But then she said “we can’t tell mom we’re fighting” and I’m like, we’re fighting? ok. So I don’t know. I’ll keep trying, but I won’t get in the middle of her mess.

Tomorrow is Independence Day and I have no plans. There’s a thing next to the high school that the kid is going to. Depending on how late it goes, I may join him. I haven’t seen real fireworks in years. Other than that I have to go to the store to buy all the stuff I couldn’t buy (or forgot) yesterday.

Oh yes, and before I forget, I made stew last night with onion, carrots, potato and mushroom and ate that for dinner and for lunch today. I did not have breakfast. Then we both had curry for dinner. One can only have so much curry. I think I’m curried out.

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Not As Smart As She Looks (Day 2)

I have to post this a little bit early today, because I’ll be just getting home at¬†on the road at 7, and it’s a work night so once I get home I’ll be getting ready for Monday.

So today I had to get my oil changed, because it had been way too long (because I was broke), and I am driving over 80 miles round trip to pick up my kid from his dad’s tonight. I’ve been living on borrowed time. So I wanted to go to the garage I’ve been going to since I moved here in 2004, but they were booked all day. So I decided to try Walmart. I don’t frequent the Walmart in my town. I prefer to go to the less busy one a town over. But this place is the only one with a car center near me.

I got there at 11am. The guy who checked me in was nice, and he told me it would be two hours. I went in and went straight to the front to the McDonald’s inside and sat down for about 15 minutes to cool off, and when that got boring, I started shopping. I decided to only buy home stuff and non-perishable food, since I didn’t know how long I would be there. So I shopped, and texted my kid and finally checked out around 12:30pm. I went to the car area and sat down and started messing around on my phone. At 12:39pm, my phone rang. I figured it was a scam or a bill collector, so I declined the call. At 1pm, I noted it had been two hours. At 1:30pm I was like “C’mon guys!”. Then I thought, “oh ok. I ~did~ get a phone call!” And I called it back and it was Walmart. I am a complete idiot. So I went over and yes, it was done and I paid and got my stuff and left. I am so smart!

Tonight I made vegetable soup with onion, garlic, celery, potatoes, carrots and mushrooms. Pretty much just using up stuff in the fridge. I don’t have any vegetable stock, so I added garlic powder, onion powder, dried basil, dried Italian herb mix, and Tony Chachere’s (a Louisiana Cajun spice mix that is a staple in every household in Louisiana). I also had to add a ton of salt because it was SO bland! Shame, but it would have been awful without it. So I’m having that for dinner and I’ll eat that and the rest of the curry for lunch this week.

An Inauspicious Start (Day 1)

What a day! And I didn’t do anything! Well, relatively. I did a few loads of laundry, did the dishes, and oh yeah – cooked an amazing dinner! I’m so proud of how it turned out I’ve posted it multiple times over all of my social media.

So what I cooked was curry. I found this recipe (I’ll post the video below) that took the chefs exactly five minutes to make and I realized I had all of the ingredients, and I had 5 minutes! I’m not going to go through the whole thing since I am posting the video, but I will tell you about my substitutions. I used garam masala instead of plain ground coriander, and plain paprika and added cinnamon. I also added spinach instead of cilantro because I hate cilantro and all I had was spinach, anyway. I didn’t need to any anything, but I wanted something green.

Today I meant to do All the Things, but my period started and who wants to do anything that day? And (WAY more importantly) today was the free agent day for the NHL. Four Penguins moved: Nick Bonino to Nashville, Ron Hainsey to Toronto, Trevor Daley to Detroit, and Chris Kunitz to Tampa. I wish them all well and I’ll miss them. And Kunitz leaving means there are only three of the “Core” left: those guys who won the cup in 2009: Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin and Kris Letang. Marc-Andre Fleury was sent to Las Vegas in the expansion draft. Everyone was super sad about that.

All in all, today was okay. I obviously could have moved around more, but I got rid of almost all of the floordrobe, and washed my sheets. I could have easily cleaned my bathroom and I didn’t. I did do the dishes, but I still need to put dinner away and wash what I used to cook and a few pots I didn’t get to.

My goals for tomorrow are to get the oil changed, take out the trash, clean the bathroom, and drive far away to pick up my kid from his dad’s. Then we need to go to the store. Last week we went to the store late Sunday night and it wasn’t so bad. See, my car has no air conditioning and I live in Florida and it is summer. So you can see my dilemma. I don’t like running errands during the day anymore. Yes, it is very sad.

Ok night all! One day down ninety-nine to go!

 

All I Have is Time

So I want to try this thing. And every time I try something new, or set a goal, I never tell anyone. I always think that if I fail then people will judge me, so I don’t tell anyone so no one knows. But this time I want to do it. If I have bad days, I’ll talk about that, too. But I need to make changes – lots of them.

So I’m doing 100 days of self improvement, with a focus on my diet. And it will start July 1 and end on October 9. But I’m hoping I like and can keep up with these changes, and that I won’t stop after 100 days. And I know I promised I’d blog here more, and I haven’t, but blogging is part of the 100 days, to keep myself accountable. I am going to tag it #100days. Day one is tomorrow.

So what I want to improve mostly is my diet. I was almost entirely plant-based while I was out of work, but then money got super tight and I got pissed and started thinking that veganism is privileged and gave up. So I’ve been eating meat for a month now. (In fact, my work month anniversary is today.) And I’ve been eating out (at the deli at work) every day and it’s super expensive. And I feel like crap (again). I fell off the wagon, hard, and it’s time to get back on.

So the plan is: 1. No more animal products. 2. No more sugar. 3. Prep for the week. 4. Eat a ton more veggies. The goal being to lose weight and improve my health.

So currently I’m 42 years old, 5’3″ (160 cm), weigh about 235 lbs (107kg), and wear a size 20 US (22 UK/50 EUR). My bra size is a 40 DDD/F. I don’t really have a goal in mind, I’d just like my clothes to fit looser and me not feel like I’m about to explode all the time! I carry all my weight in my stomach and it makes me feel huge. Before I got pregnant in 1999 (I was 23) I weighed 135 and wore a 36C bra and a size 9 clothes. So yeah. And being a young person I thought I was terribly fat compared to my size 5 friends! I wish I was that again! So yeah. That’s not going to happen in 20 days but one day I’d like to be there again.

Ok so expect posts on what I ate, what I prepped, if I cheated (boo), and hopefully little things I’ve started doing to improve my life in general. Look, if “normal” people can do it I can do it! So yeah, wish my luck and give me support!

Hey, guys! (I love the word “guys”.) It’s the end of a week. A Work Week. Something I haven’t had in a little while. I have been working since Tuesday. So far, so great. I know two people there really well, one girl from my last job, and one girl from an old job, but we were personal friends, too, who did stuff together. We just stopped hanging out a while back. But it’s great to see her. I’ve always liked her. She appeared out of the blue Tuesday and gave me a huge hug. LOL Her name is Mara.

Really at work, I’ve been helping out and “shadowing”. Not even with the people who do my job. I’m supposed to hang out with every department before I start training for real. Really I’ve been stuffing a lot of envelopes, making copies, and filing. I don’t even mind. It keeps me busy.

Everyone’s super nice. The lady I’ve been training with is Lisa and she’s a sweet lady. She’s so nice she’s got me telling her all my secrets! LOL I love to talk, it didn’t take much. Today I told her how I met Pat’s dad and moved to Florida. I’ve also told her what a piece of crap my old boss was. She’s real sweet and nice and made me think she was probably conservative, but guess what? She’s totally cool. Yay. I still insinuated that I was into God, bc people be crazy when you tell them you don’t believe in the sky fairy.

In home news: a few more Stanley Cup games. Game three is Saturday and if we need a game seven it won’t be until the 14th. Also, I finally used my Netflix subscription and watched both seasons of Sense8. And I finished the day before it was canceled! So when that happened, I was pissed. I’ve signed the petition and emailed Netflix. Ugh, such a good show.

Pat was at his dad’s until yesterday. I think he didn’t sleep well because he slept from midnight to almost 1 pm today. That is so unlike him. I think the craziness from the last couple of weeks caught up with him. Right now he and Cody are out getting pizza. They might be back at Cody’s (he lives next door with Ryan) but since Pat is 18, I can’t harass him into letting me know where he is all the time. I just asked that if he’s going to be somewhere other than where he planned that he let me know. But really can I even ask that?

(P.S. – I’m posting this without a header image. I was really trying to keep that a Thing, but I cannot find the exact pic I want, so I’ll go back and add it later.)

Fun Times!

Ok so we (me and the kid) just had an incident yesterday. We went to 7-11 where we went to buy Slurpees and lottery tickets. I was in line to pay and Pat was over by the Slurpee machine. There was a guy in front of me. Pat yelled over to me that he’s spilled Slurpee all over himself. The guy in front of me thought Pat was talking to him. He realized Pat was talking to me and when he looked at me, he gave me a really obvious once-over. Now, let me tell you – I am not pretty on the best of days and today I am not even trying. So I was like, ??? And let me clarify that this was not an Awful White Dude – this guy was Person of Color. But still – a Dude.

So the guy said, “Oh I thought he was talking to me,” ha ha and said something like, well if that’s your man I’ll leave you alone. Pat and I get this a lot. He looks about 30, being a big guy and having a full beard, and apparently, I don’t look 42. We get this ALL the time. It is very tiring.

Anyway, to clarify, I told him, “that’s my kid.” and he was like, “no fucking way!” “HEY GIANT!” he yelled over to Pat. Pat didn’t know what was going on over here so he was like, ??? And the guy asked me how I could possibly be old enough to have a kid. Then he said he’s just playing and kisses me on the cheek! Then he said, “Oh man he must have hurt coming out!” and I was like ??? and said, “he didn’t come out.” Idk why I told him that. I was so flustered this guy was wild! LOL So he said, “Oh yeah, well you know that’s good for me. Do you know what I mean by that?” ha ha. Yeah, bud – you mean I have a tight vajay. Good for you.

So then Pat walked over and the guy was like, how old are you, what’s your GPA? He said his was higher than Pats. Idk. And he said he’d pay for my stuff. I declined, and he left. Then I ran my card to pay and it was declined (not declined – there was an error.) I was going to get Pat to pay but the guy walked back up to get a lighter and said he’d pay for me again. At this point I just let him. I was so flustered and Pat was upset and I needed to leave. So it was like $10.50 and he paid. I thanked him again and we left.

Then I went outside and got in my car and he ran up to us and said… idk – but told us to pay it forward. Then I left. I literally have not been hit on in about 12 years so this was new and not welcome and oh, man. It even happens to fat girls like me.

Hockey!

So I love hockey. This is the first non-fandom thing that I’ve ever been interested in. (But isn’t sports a fandom?) And of course, I got into it because of (genre) fandom. I started reading the “Check, Please!” webcomic and so that led to reading fic of the pairing Bitty/Jack, then to Parse/Alexei. Then in October came the World Cup of Hockey. I got to see the best of the best play each other. At that time I only had a general idea of the game. But I watched while talking to my other hockey-loving friends from all over the world online, and I was hooked.

My favorite team is the Pittsburgh Penguins. You can call me bandwagon, but that’s all you. I am also a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs because they had a fresh new team and I watched a lot of Steve Dangle videos. He’s a huge fan who recaps Leafs’ games and that got him into broadcasting and commentary. I also love the Dallas Stars, because they just can’t catch a break, bless ’em. They got a new coach so I’m hoping next season is better. We also have a local ECHL team called the Solar Bears, which is an affiliate of the AHL team, the Toronto Marlies, which is an affiliate of (you guessed it) the Leafs. So it’s all around me. I hope to make it to a Solar Bears game next season!

I watched almost the entire season with my two friends, R, from England, and C, from right here in Florida. We hang out in a Twitter DM group. Then I also live-tweet. We have the best time cheering and/or commiserating. R stays up until 4 am just to watch the games, and C has a job that takes her on the road and she misses a few games. I fall asleep before games, lol. I had to watch a game recently on my phone in the airport. But I don’t want to miss any of it!

The Penguins have won the Stanley Cup four times: 1991, 1992, 2009, and 2016. As of last night’s win, they’ve made it to the finals again. On a personal note, I start my new job on the 30th, and the first of seven games is Monday night. I don’t want to miss it, but I don’t want to be late on my first day. I have got to get my priorities right!

So yeah, hockey. I am going to be sad when the season is over, but I hope that the season ends with The Big Win for the Penguins. I also hope I can keep all my balls in the air and watch all the games!