So I don’t want to talk about food today. I want to talk about a mental and emotional change I’ve seen. I discussed it a little here, but I really seem to be on a roll lately.
I have been cleaning. A lot. That was something that suffered horribly the last almost ten years since I became mentally ill. In 2011, I hired a cleaning person to come in twice a month. It was just too much for me. I couldn’t keep them but a few months, though, as I had to get a new car and I needed the money. So then I just did the bare minimum to keep the house clean. I do laundry, and I keep up with dishes ok, but I hated bathrooms and vacuuming and picking up. Then my kid moved in with me in 2013, and he’s a teenager, so of course he hated doing housework. Skip forward to this year, around June, and I got so sick of the house (the kid’s bathroom was a health hazard) that I hired another person to come in and do a deep clean. They scrubbed the bathrooms and cleaned the ceilings/ceiling fans (so dusty). Stuff I never did. I kept them around for a month, but then of course, I needed the money for other things, and I cancelled them. But I also felt like I could actually keep up now that I had a head start. I even bought a new vacuum. Didn’t use it, lol, but bought it.
So now it’s the end of December, and I’ve been plant-based since a little before Halloween. It took two months of clean eating to even begin feeling the benefits. The first thing was the muscle spasms. Then I just seemed happier. Then I started cleaning! Then downloaded a few apps to my phone: Chronometer, Google Fit, Couch to 5k, Headspace (a meditation app), and Down Dog (a yoga app). I did the meditation last night before bed, and I did (half) of the yoga as soon as I woke up. Then I took a shower (which is another thing that was a hurdle to me), ate oatmeal and logged it into Chronometer. When I start the walking/running it will be after work.
So I know it seems like I started all that at once. I do that. But most of the time I overreach, I stop before I even start. But today I did everything I meant to. You know that voice in your head that says, “I’ll start tomorrow” or “why even start it won’t matter”. I still hear that, but I can ignore it more easily now. The benefit of following through on things is a sense of accomplishment that can be very reward in itself. I also have a greater sense of peace now, because I don’t have the nagging in my brain of letting something go for so long, and the guilt for not doing it.